I’m finding it harder and harder to watch or read anything. Everything fictional revolves around relationships. And hell, most of the time the only driving force in a plot line is romance. We are surrounded by it.
So when one is in romance limbo, it is so heart-breaking to be exposed to this. Just dammit, world, can’t someone focus on this in-between? Of someone making an active choice to not pursue love as a way of moving on from past-love. Which is a stupid idea anyway, I don’t need anymore catharsis. I find it so ridiculous that the best way to move on is to find someone new. And at the same time, I wish I had that option, because it would have been so much easier.
So with just a dash of social ineptitude, and a pinch of respect for ex-lover, I am alone.
I love fantasy. I love horror. I love musicals. Whatever doesn’t really happen in life is what I’m interested in. As a way of commenting on everything that does happen in life, because ultimately the only thing I’m really interested in is people.
Joss Whedon (via btvslives)
Having one of those days when you just want to cease to exist is the worst. Because no matter what you do, you can never be more than what you are. And it is not enough. And I know this is whiny, and annoying and all things angsty, but blah, blah, I don’t know who I am, blah, blah, blah, I don’t know where I’m going, blah, and right in this moment, I am certainly not enjoying the journey. I wish time would just stop, so I could curl up in bed and ignore all my impending failures…
I think this feeling is akin to watching someone through glass, someone who is not looking back at you. And you press your pale, tiny hand against the glass, the warmth spreading; condensation outlining your fingers. And the only thing you want in the world is to push through. To just seep into the glass, and out the other side, no shattering necessary. No big declaration of love necessary, just a simple I’m still here, I’m just waiting. Because big declarations are repulsive- making it known how you feel is creepy and clingy. So the glass needs to be there, to make you stop.
Please just stop.